im not a dad but i still make dad jokes im a faux pas

#IM NOT A DAD BUT I STILL MAKE DAD JOKES IM A FAUX PAS SKIN#
#IM NOT A DAD BUT I STILL MAKE DAD JOKES IM A FAUX PAS CRACK#

'Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.'.'Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!'.'What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.'.

#IM NOT A DAD BUT I STILL MAKE DAD JOKES IM A FAUX PAS CRACK#

'Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.'.

'How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.'.

'My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

'Where do boats go when they're sick?' 'To the boat doc.'.

'I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out.

'What do you call a poor Santa Claus?' 'St.

'Dad, did you get a haircut?' 'No, I got them all cut!'.

'What has more letters than the alphabet?' 'The post office!'.

'Where do you learn to make a banana split?' 'Sundae school.'.

'What does a sprinter eat before a race?' 'Nothing, they fast!'.

'What's the best thing about Switzerland?' 'I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.'.

'What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?' 'Where's Pop Corn?'.

'Where do fruits go on vacation?' 'Pear-is!'.

'A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender.

'What did the zero say to the eight?' 'That belt looks good on you.'.

'What did one wall say to the other?' 'I'll meet you at the corner.'.'How does the moon cut his hair?' 'Eclipse it.'.'I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.'Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?' 'Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels.'.'What did the ocean say to the beach?' 'Nothing, it just waved.'.'Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.'.'What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?' 'Supplies!'.'Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.'.'What do you call a factory that makes okay products?' 'A satisfactory.'.

#IM NOT A DAD BUT I STILL MAKE DAD JOKES IM A FAUX PAS SKIN#

'How does dry skin affect you at work?' 'You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it.'.

Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.'

'I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.

'If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?' 'Pilgrims.'.

'How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?' 'You follow the fresh prints.'.

'What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?' 'Sofishticated.'.

'What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?' 'They're both Paris sites.'.

'Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.

'Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?' 'In case they get a hole in one!'.

'My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.

Get ready for the eye rolls, because we're coming in hot. So, in honor of joke-telling dads everywhere, we present the best of the best corny dad jokes and puns, whether you need a few new one-liners to add to your own repertoire, are craving a good chuckle, or are looking for a good Father’s Day caption or dad quote to honor your hilarious pops. (Deny it if you must, person who just Googled “funny dad jokes.”) (Is your grandmother funny? That’s usually the biggest tell.)Įven though dad jokes might make us groan, we secretly love these fatherly zingers that are so bad they’re good, and maybe even brilliant. Before he knows it, he’s dropping pun-laden one-liners left and right just like his dad did, and his dad’s dad did, and he may even inherit some mom jokes too. What makes a joke a dad joke? Well, when a dad becomes a dad, his sense of humor becomes ap parent too.

Im not a dad but i still make dad jokes im a faux pas